zaterdag 23 januari 2016

Expectations



Hello sweeties!

I've been away for a while again and I missed writing. The past weeks were super busy and I had to study a lot. Apart from that, I did a couple of nice things with friends and family - like the day with my bro and my father visiting me.
Sometimes, writing something down in a blog post, works like an online diary. Even though I've got my little diary for every day, at times, I need to write more than a sentence. So I'm just going to share some thoughts with you.

One week ago, my father came to visit me in Eindhoven. We talked about how funny it is how much you can look like one or both of your parents. Not only physically or in your personality, but also in how you live your life. For example, my mother struggled with the same things as me in high school, also had a gap year (went to France to learn French - close enough) and started to study Industrial Design (in Delft, not Eindhoven) after that. I mean, what?! I never made any of these choices because she did so at my age; it's just how everything worked out. This is just one example, but there are many more similarities I noticed between parents and children. Fascinating.


My father told me he could really see my mother in me. On the outside, I don't look like her that much - though you can see she's my mother - but in personality, I do. I mentioned some small things that were similar, but then he told me that he sees the perfectionist that my mother was. Expecting a lot from myself and others. I agreed, we spoke about it, but I gave it some more thoughts, later on.

I do expect a lot of myself. Although I think that I've become more relaxed over time when it comes to that, it was a little confronting to notice that it's still present. Of course, it's good to be ambitious. It's not a bad thing to strive for delivering well and being critical about yourself. The problem is, I expect a lot of myself in every way.
In high school, it was way worse. Without exaggerating, I wanted to be: pretty, slim, smart, well-dressed, sporty, musical, arty, considered a nice girl, a good friend, sexy, loved and liked by boys, a good family member, good but also a little rebellious, fun to party with, funny in general, confident and at the same time, relaxed. Ha ha. It's not that I kept this list to check whether I'd done everything necessary, it's more that I automatically compared myself to everyone who was better at a particular aspect. By this, I was only focusing on negativity. In the past two years, I've become way better at approaching myself in a more positive way, and also at accepting that I can't be all of that at the same time. It's not realistic.

Anyways, what I can notice, is that I overthink a lot. I still care about how people see me. I feel guilty when I've misbehaved or been mean to someone, I feel stupid about and angry with myself sometimes. I expect myself to handle every situation in the right way and to please everyone by being me.

I wanted to ask myself: why? Why isn't it okay to do things I maybe shouldn't have done, to make mistakes? Why can't I be sad about something, or hurt? Why does everybody need to like me? Why does it need to be perfect, all the time? Because, in other people, I can see the beauty of not being perfect. The weird little things about someone, imperfect bodies, insecurities; it makes you human. Often, I like you even more when I discover something personal that's different.
So; I'm not the perfect person. I say stupid things. I can be stressed, emotional, exaggerative, unattractive, whatever. I can have no clue of how I should deal with something. I don't sleep enough and I should study more. And do more sports.
But: I know I'm valuable to several people. I know that I'm not ugly. My body isn't too skinny or too big. I can offer a lot in different ways. I'm pretty smart, mature (mostly), know what I want (generally) and I can have deep conversations as well as a good laugh with you. Sounds a lot better, don't you think?

I feel like it's very important to adapt this way of thinking in anyone's life. There's no advantage in pulling yourself down. And honestly, at times, I can be jealous of people who genuinely don't give a shit about what others think of them. You go girl/guy!

I'm sure I'm not the only one, so even though it's personal, I felt like sharing it. Maybe you got something out of it <3

XO, Josie

zondag 10 januari 2016

Plog: brother-sister day in Eindhoven!


Hello sweeties!

A while ago, I realised that I wanted to do more with photos. I love Instagram, but I've always been very interested in photography. For my friend Lizzy's blog, I've been shooting photos twice, so far. I'll try to do it more often; it's useful for my studies (Industrial Design), as well. I like photos in any way; on holidays, with friends, arty... Would love to have a good camera too, but yeah, money, ya know.
This weekend, I didn't feel like going back to Utrecht, so I stayed in Eindhoven (needed to study, as well). Though, I wanted to see my brother and we planned a brother-sister day. Yay! I thought it would be nice to do a 'plog' (a photo blog) for this day (Jan 10, 2016). I always like looking at a lot of photos from others and wanted to give it a try. We had a fun day in Eindhoven, so let's go!


I started off being very productive; the kitchen needed to be cleaned so bad! I cleaned everything and organised the table, which was full of papers and more bullshit before. It's actually kind of weird when it's this tidied up, haha!

Then, I picked up my bro from the train station, to go for lunch in the city center. We went to a lovely place, called Meneer De Boer. My friend Lizzy once recommended this breakfast-/lunchroom and she was 100% right about it, so I wanted to take my brother here, too.

It was a good choice! We had a delicious lunch, once again. Look at his happy "I've got an uitsmijter"-face. I had a grilled sandwich with salmon and goat cheese - my two favourites - and it tasted like heaven. Oh, and look at how the tea bag is attached to my tea cup. So cute!

A little walk through the city. Such a good day with lovely weather.

On our way to my university, which I wanted to show him. It was Sunday, so almost everything was closed, but we could still walk through the campus.

Yay! I had to show him where my study association is located, of course. Too bad we couldn't enter the building, because it's a nice place to be. But at least, we took a photo in front of the logo (more than happy)!

Walking back to the city center. Spot the Philips building!




Straight on to the Philips museum! It was super interesting to go there. Maybe some of you didn't know that Philips was founded in Eindhoven. The history, designs, information; I loved it! And an old-coworker told us a lot of stories (about the logo, for example), with such enthusiasm. We enjoyed it!

Then, on to Strijp-S; where the old Philips factory was located. Now, it's an industrial place, with many new, hipster-like shops and stores. They left the factory the same on the outside, but on the inside, it's completely new. I live on walking distance from Strijp-S and I love it.

Chilling in my room <3

Annnnd dinner in the fresh and clean kitchen! With my house mates Willemijn and Raoul and my brother. It was gooood.

Then, it was time to say goodbye again. We had such a good day and we did a lot in very little time. Love you, bro! <3

Hoped you liked to see a little sneak peak in my life. It wasn't a normal day, and I've been studying both yesterday and this evening, so my life isn't all fun and nice. But it was a photo-worthy day. See you soon, cariños!

XO, Josie












zondag 3 januari 2016

What did I do this Christmas break?

Hello sweethearts,

It's 2016 now and my Christmas break is over. I don't really feel like setting goals this year, because I actually want to go with the flow. At least, I'll do my best at my studies, will focus on people I love and got some trips planned for this year! I'm going to Milano and want to visit Denmark, England, France and Málaga again. And more. Because more travelling is more good in my opinion.

Having said that, I wanted to look back on these holidays. A lot has happened; I'm glad I've got my One line a day booklet, so I don't forget everything that I've done. Let's get started!


I started off with a very nice lunch at SLA, with my brother, stepfather and a friend of ours. I also found a lot of old photos and my brother found even more books full of photos. I love watching them! Do you think I look like my mother? Furthermore, I had a Christmas toast with my old colleagues.


I went to Yoghurt Barn in Utrecht in the weekend, as well, with Lizzy (and with my friend Karlijn from high school earlier, too, haha). After that, we shooted some outfit photos for her blog. I really like doing that, so if you ever want me to do it again, call me on my cell phone, babe!
After the weekend, I had a good date, travelled between Eindhoven and Utrecht a couple of times, finally arranged that I could work in Eindhoven and worked on my studies. Then, it was time for Christmas!
On Christmas Eve, I was with my father's family and we had a relaxed time together. On Christmas Day, I first went to my father's parents, sang some songs to and with them, and went off to my aunt for dinner. She's my mother's sister and she and their other sister look so much like mama. We've got a big family, but we were with just eight; all of my cousins were at their boy-/girlfriend. Forever alone, once again! But, I had fun, as you can see (with my stepfather). The day after that, we went to my stepmother's sister, which was amazing, too. She's a great cook, so: good food and good company <3


On December 27th,  I went to my lovely cousin Rosanna, who's pregnant. She's living in England right now, so it was great to see her back home for her babyshower. Some of her friends actually thought I was her sister. They were all very nice and I had some good conversations with them. Loved the photo with the cat, too. 

Then, December 28, my friends from Denmark finally arrived! We walked around Utrecht (where I'm from and where we stayed) and Amsterdam. We had boerenkool and pannenkoeken at my place, went out for food several times, had a lot of laughs and celebrated New Year's Eve together. First, we stayed in Utrecht with a friend of mine and his international friends and then went off to Amsterdam at 1 am. We all took a lot of photos, so I'll show you a selection down below here.

Happy faces! Four blondes

My hometown: Utrecht

Crazy, lovely girls at the Domtoren! I lived next to them for a couple of months, in Málaga

Lunch at Bagels&Beans in Utrecht

Amsterdam


Louise and me in Amsterdam

If you want a challenge... 12" dildo

Red Light District with Sarah, Stine and Alex

Cheers with Sarah!

Last day of 2015 with Louise, we got free Prosecco at the bakery!

The end... Lovely dinner at Beers&Barrels in Utrecht. If you like burgers and happen to be in Utrecht: GO THERE! Best burgers ever! 

So, this was it. A very good time; I don't really feel like starting uni again. But I'm sure there'll be enough to look forward to in the near future. All the best for you this year, sweeties. Talk to you soon!

XO Josie